Party Etiquette

The single most important quality of the successful party host is to recognise the need to supply absolute comfort and enjoyment to each and every guest whilst at the same time keeping a watchful eye open for drunks, bores and badly behaved children of all ages – not an easy task! For a smooth running party, that maintains its air of conviviality, it helps both hosts and guests if a few basic rules of etiquette are followed. There is no real mystery about etiquette, it is just another word for good manners and consideration but it can be helpful for both party givers and guests to have some firm guidelines .

Tips For Hosts

Always try to appear confident and relaxed – this will rub off on your guests.

It is the absolute height of bad manners to be late for your own party. Some celebrity types like to make a grand entrance but it simply is not done to leave your guests wondering whether they are allowed to start the party without you.

Keep a watchful eye on the bar, you may need to gently steer the heavy drinkers away from time to time to make sure they don’t become blind drunk and ruin your party.  NEVER drink too much yourself - at all times you will need to keep your wits about you, in fact it is probably safer not to drink at all until the party is well underway and you can afford to loosen your grip a little on the overall organisation.

If some of your guests arrive too early and you are still putting together the final touches, invite them to join you for a chat while you polish off those last minute jobs. Don’t under any circumstances make them feel guilty or awkward about catching you still in your apron, or frantically washing last year’s dust off the decanter.

Do have a designated area for coats, bags and gifts etc.

Check the loos are properly working and replenished with necessities right to the end.

Make a special point of introducing each and every guest to their fellow guests paying particular attention to bringing like-minded people together. At a large party make sure the introductions are completed swiftly so that the party doesn’t get away from you before all your guests have at least someone to talk to over the first drink. A good ploy is to start your party near the first entrance point so that no one is overlooked.

It sometimes helps if the host provides fun nametags so that there is never any confusion or embarrassment over forgotten names.

Some guests are always late, in fact they make it a selfish habit – so remember it is their responsibility to be punctual and if they are late they shouldn’t expect other people to fit round them. Get on with your meal or entertainment regardless. It is not the action of a good host to keep the rest of the guests waiting for food etc. until the latecomer finally arrives.

If you don’t want children at your party state clearly on the invitation that you are unable to cater for children. If you are making them welcome arrange for some form of entertainment and a supervised area for the real babies, this way they won’t annoy your less child-tolerant guests.

In today’s world it is quite difficult to deal with the smoking dilemma – do you ban smoking altogether or do you allow it by tactfully directing smokers to an outside smoking area -  making sure that it is not so grotty and away from the main action that they creep back and participate in a sly undercover drag!

Provide shelter or shade at outdoor parties and keep an eye on elderly guests who may be overcome by any extremes of weather.

Set a realistic time for the party to end. The most memorable parties leave the guests wanting more.

Most guests know when to leave but there are always a few thick-skinned souls who are determined to stay until the bar has been drunk dry and there is nothing left to squeeze from the last coffee dregs. If you are stuck with one or more of these hardened all-nighters you will need a polite but firm strategy. First and foremost shut the bar, then offer to get them a taxi, if that fails ask if they could help you unblock some sick in the toilet – that usually does the trick. If all else fails just go to bed and leave them with it. Whatever you do don’t provide them with breakfast the next morning or they will regard you as a comfortable billet the next time you hold a party!

Tips For Guests

Always reply to invitations as soon as you have checked your diary. It looks very ill mannered having to be chased by your host for a definite answer. It is never easy catering for exact numbers and no party can get off the ground if the organiser doesn’t have the first clue to who will and who won’t turn up!

If you are going to be unavoidably late do inform your host and give a clear indication of your expected arrival time.

Don’t get drunk and behave badly – chances are you will be struck not only from your host’s address book but also everyone else’s.

If you feel left out or lost offer to hand things round or take care of the odd elderly or infirm guest. It will make you feel needed and you will quickly become part of the action as it gives you a genuine excuse to break into small groups of people.

If you can’t remember names or are slightly deaf apologise, make an excuse about the noise and ask your fellow guest to repeat their name as you “……didn’t quite catch it”.

Do put aside a little time after the party to send a nice thank you note or even some flowers to show your appreciation of a great party. There isn’t a host alive that isn’t truly thankful to have it confirmed in writing that their guests really did have a wonderful time.